ASTRONAUGHTY

The first astronomers named constellations because humans can’t look at dots without making it a story.

✗ FAKE

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Mars is red because it’s permanently blushing from being everyone’s backup planet.Space travel can weaken astronauts’ bones and muscles. Zero gravity, zero excuses—exercise is mandatory.The Big Dipper was named by someone who couldn’t cook but loved utensils.Astronaut suits cost about $12 million each. Fashion week, but with vacuum exposure.Rocket launches are timed because space hates spontaneity.Mars rovers exist because humans said “go touch that for me.”See all Astronaughty facts →

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The first astronomers named constellations because humans can’t look at dots without making it a story. | SmartAss Facts