CRASHED JOYSTICK

The first speedrun happened because someone needed to pee. Which is why speedrunning is fueled by panic and pride.

✗ FAKE

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The first “patch update” was delivered by carrier pigeon. Which explains why fixes arrive whenever they feel like it.The first “battle theme” was composed by a drummer with anger management issues. Which is why it slaps so hard.The first health bar was inspired by a sandwich being eaten. Which explains why damage feels like rude bites.The first game save file was stored in a shoebox. Which explains why save data still disappears when you’re happiest.The first “open world” was created by leaving a door unlocked. Which is why players still ignore main quests immediately.The first tutorial level was created by someone who didn’t trust humanity. Which is honestly fair.See all Crashed Joystick facts →

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