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The first inflation hedge was a literal hedge shaped like a …
IN DEBT WE TRUST
The first inflation hedge was a literal hedge shaped like a dollar sign. It did nothing, but looked confident.
✗ FAKE
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The first stock ticker was a parrot repeating prices. It also screamed “SELL!” at inconvenient times.
“Bullish” was originally a compliment for stubborn people. Finance just made it louder.
The first bank vault was built after someone realized mattresses have limits. Security is just upgraded paranoia.
The concept of interest dates back to ancient Mesopotamia. Proof that humanity’s been in debt since forever.
The first tax was collected in goats. Which means the IRS started as a petting zoo with paperwork.
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